I (Don’t) Have a Cunning Plan!
Council catastrophe conjures cult comedy classic
**WARNING** Before you head over to Ootn Aboot Dumfries’ recent Facebook post, please ensure that you are firmly braced to avoid rupturing your spleen or giving yourself a hernia.
The Ootn article describes what’s known as “Item 9”—a motion to scrutinise the recruitment process for the position of Director of Transport and Infrastructure, after the recent director resigned after only 4 months in post. This could potentially unearth fraud and corruption within the service.
There seems to have been an attempt made to dilute and wrest control of this investigation from elected members to the senior officials themselves—in other words, the same people whose misconduct stands to be exposed.
“I have a cunning plan!”—Baldrick (Blackadder, most episodes)
However, it seems that this attempt at subversion failed, leaving the investigation in the hands of elected members and out of control of local authority employees. Upon the realisation that they had lost control of the investigation, Head of Governance Vlad Valiente—the man so deluded that he proudly displayed the violent, racist, communist ideology group Black Lives Matter on his Facebook profile— wheeled back in his chair to give a look of obvious concern to woke, box-ticking CEO Dawn Roberts.
“I think the phrase rhymes with ‘clucking bell’”—Blackadder Goes Forth, Series 4, Episode 6, (“Goodbyeee.”) (Spoken by Captain Blackadder as he grimly realises his fate before going "over the top" during World War I)
That clip will have caused floods of coffee to be sprayed over countless computer and smartphone devices in the region.
“I thank God I wore my corset, because I think my sides have split!”—Blackadder II, Series 2, Episode 4 (“Money”)
More comedy gold follows with a clip of Dawn Roberts and her worried, wide-eyed gaze, after which she stares unnervingly at then-council convener Malcolm Johnson as though she was attempting some kind of psychic attack. All that was missing was pins and a voodoo doll. Most strange!
Since then, in direct contravention of the council motion, Ms Roberts has refused to release relevant information to assist the investigation.
“As guilty as a puppy sitting next to a pile of poo”—Blackadder Goes Forth, Episode 2 (“Corporal Punishment”)
So, if you fancy a belly laugh, head over to that Ootn post. Just make sure you’re suitably braced.
DoD
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